HOLAAfrica!

A PanAfricanist Queer Womanist Collective

The Lesbian dating cycle

By Hitchdyke

Anyone who has watched even merely a few episodes of the L word will tell you that lesbians date within a circle of friends….but is that really true??

I don’t know if its safe to generalise here but let us consider this for a while.

Lesbians, or rather open lesbians, tend to source out one another, in a world driven by ideas of heterosexuality its only natural that once you have discovered your true self and have come to terms with it you would want to be associated with people in the same  position with you. If only for the sake of belonging, feeling the same and having someone with you to check out the hot chick across the road.

The problem with this I guess is that the same cycle of ”friends” becomes your dating pool.

Now I have seen this happen before in real life and online. Forums and facebook groups set up for lesbians alike to talk and be there for one another and discuss issues surrounding them eventually turn into a pick up area.
“While we here guys im single.”

Before you know it A is dating B, after they break up B dates C and B’s ex D dates A  then comes the chart

Granted I do agree the dating pool is a bit small, I still stand by neither confirming or denying this but im just curious how do they manage? I mean aside from the usual ”yes we exes but now we friends” excuse just how does one manage to find themselves sitting down with a group of friends who happen to not only include their ex but also their partner’s ex. These are all likely to be the same people. I have once been in a room with my ex and another one of her exes as well as current girlfriend and I had to admit, there was an elephant in the room.

This was a cross-post from Hitchdyke’s very cool personal blog: From Here To The Moon And Back, go check it out here

3 comments on “The Lesbian dating cycle

  1. kok
    10/09/2012

    well were i live its almost impossible not to date a circle of friends cos d lesbian community is very small

  2. Lame
    21/05/2012

    I really don’t like that whole cycle thing hey. I find it so concerning. Is it true that we actually cant do anything about it coz of our small population size?

  3. Shix
    20/05/2012

    true because most of us prefer a comfort zone thus being around ur ex and ur ex’s girl n etc wont be such a big deal!

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