A PanAfricanist Queer Womanist Collective
I witnessed fear. Not the heart pounding gut wrenching, ‘the serial killer is inside the house’ type fear but something far deeper.
Friends of mine couldn’t find some friends of theirs. Their phones were off. They hadn’t been heard from for quite some time. That’s standard for a night out.
The real issue here was they were a lesbian couple in Nairobi. That was the source of the fear. Their sexuality and the country in which they were in. All other info was just circumstance.. The fear was not that they had been robbed, or been the victim of some other standard Nairobi-esque crime but that they had been spotted showing each other affection and had been targeted for that reason. That she had been the victim of someone’s prejudice and hatred. That she had been harmed for… Showing affection… For turning to the woman she was with and showing her through a touch how beautiful she was. The scariest thing is that that was the first place everyone’s mind went to. This was Kenya, they said. Being gay here is dangerous.
They were a lesbian couple. That was why they could have been harmed.
That was the reality of the situation.
The fear that ran through everyone.
A section of society lives in this caged fear that somebody will harm them for how they feel. People live in a prison with bars that cannot be touched but can be seen. Bars made up of the perceptions others have of right and wrong. Of what is natural or not. Of what is acceptable or not.
You know your girl friend is beautiful. The man standing there watching her knows it too. But the difference between him and you is he can show her.
Even if his actions in doing so are unwelcome.
Even if you’re the one who loves her, cares for her, falls asleep next to her. He has more right to show his appreciation of her than you do. Because he has a penis and man and woman ‘belong together’. But damn she is beautiful. The curve of her back… The shape of her legs… The way her ass does that suspended animation thing when she walks. You know that split second before it follows the rest of her leg into the footsteps… The way she smiles when she knows you’re looking…staring. But that’s all you can do in this fair city. Look.
When you’re not in private you are not allowed to touch this most prized possession because society has told you that the touch belongs to someone of the opposite sex.
A woman can never have something of such beauty. That’s reserved for the weirdo with the hands down his pants watching her walk by. If he touches her its ok. Cause he has a penis. Tell me how that is logical? Don’t argue nature. I love her. I care for her. He does not. And besides everyone knows you don’t let toddlers play with precious jewels.
And let’s not lie to ourselves, the lovely man with the leer on his face is NOT going to do a better job of pleasing this woman than I am. So if I show her that I’m more deserving than you (in every possible way) you will attack because…its unnatural? You know what’s natural? Love. Affection. Human Contact. Orgasms. The sex of the source is not what divides the natural from the unnatural. It is the absence of them that is unnatural.
The fact that your woman fakes it. That’s unnatural. The fact that most women in heterosexual relationships claim that sex is about the man and not the woman. That’s unnatural.
Watching a woman’s face as she climaxes. I could argue there is nothing more natural. Doesn’t matter who witnesses it. What’s unnatural is the fear so many have to live as they feel in case those who think that they are animals turn around and act like monsters.
What is unnatural is your insanely strong reaction to MY love that leads you to violence.
What is unnatural is how uncomfortably cramped it must be in that small mind of yours. How does it make sense that two people showing EACH OTHER affection can bring about violence in another?
I don’t recall inviting anyone else to the party… When we stop and think carefully, does your unsolicited anger and violence make sense? Does it seem like something that can be called ‘normal’ by any standards? So if you attack someone because of who they love you must remember that all it really shows is that they are in love and you are insane.