HOLAAfrica!

A PanAfricanist Queer Womanist Collective

Double the Goodness, Double the Taste (musings of a bisexual)

By Tiffany

Stop knocking bi girls. The arguments against us are nonsense. For one we are often more committed than lesbians. OK that may not necessarily be true but we are certainly no more rogue than them.

We are judged on who we have the possibility of loving or being attracted to. The fact that we could maybe one day, some where, in the great span of time and space be with a man means  suddenly we are more wild than a crazed monkey in the deepest part of the Amazon.

We are so wild we will sleep with you, walk out your boudoir and go find the first man we see and jump them. Crouching Tiger style.

Its thoughts like that that make the insecurities come alive.

Don’t lie.

That’s all it is.

Insecurities.

You think that bi-sexual women are busy thinking about penis whilst you are finger deep inside them, giving it all you got.

And when you compare yourself to a man or think of them as competition you have already lost.

You lose because you don’t understand the beauty, sensuality, uniqueness and insight you have as a female lover. The fact that as a woman you are intoxicating in your own right in a way a man could never even hope to understand let alone achieve.

Plus everyone knows that locals know an area better than any foreigner. That’s just a fact. You understand the make of car better because you own it too.

Yep.

I just used a car analogy to describe sex.

Sue me.

The whole notion is based on the perceived fact that because we are loose because we can be with either men or women. Which in itself is based in the insecurity of ‘when they are with me are they really thinking of dick?’

Don’t worry…men have it too.

Maybe you should all start a support group.

‘Hi, my name is Vince and I’m CONVINCED my girl thinks about vagina in bed.’

‘Hi Vince!’

So the answer to the question is ‘no’. We are not thinking of dick when we are with you.

That’s not the case. That’s not even how it BEGINS to work. We do not spend our whole lives perpetually convinced the grass is greener on the other side. A person’s decision to be monogamous is based on the person and the individual relationship. If someone isn’t going to be faithful is does not matter HOW MANY sexes and genders they can hook up with.

They will cheat.

Having more genders as options does not increase the number.

To judge bisexuals on who they choose to sleep with, are attracted to is subjecting us to a form of ‘in-house homophobia’. It’s the thought that we are a certain way because of who we can be attracted to both sexes.

‘Bi sexuals will cheat as they have more opportunity.’ ‘They can’t commit because they sleep with both sexes.’ ‘Being bi-sexual is just a stop-over to gay’ These prejudices come from the same place that thoughts such as ‘being gay is a phase’ ‘gay people have sex, straight people fall in love’ ‘being gay is not natural’ come from.

See any mirror images?

Look we understand that in this world of labels that our label is somewhat…disconcerting. That it can make people uncomfortable.

What side of the sexual revolution are they on?

What side of the fence are they on?

What team do they bat for?

To the world our sexuality makes us look like vagabond wanderers with no home, no place to call our own and no sense of loyalty to either the lands of straight-topia or gay-opolis. That we are nomads, always searching for something bigger, harder, wetter.

We aren’t. We are already home. Bi sexuality is our little cage. Sure you could argue it’s a slightly bigger cage but we have all been boxed in. Problem is with our town we have a lot of straight and gay people passing through on their way to coming out or whatever. These people give the good citizens of our lovely little town a bad name. Not everyone who stays there for awhile is a local. Some are passing through. These are the people who cause phrases like now ‘Bi now gay later’ to come about.
Not cool.

So stop knocking bi girls…unless your knocking boots with them.

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2 comments on “Double the Goodness, Double the Taste (musings of a bisexual)

  1. Mush
    19/03/2013

    wow this is a funny and witty read. It challenges the way one thinks gay or bi.

  2. As a bisexual girl, I completely with everything you’ve said 🙂
    Stereotypes are shitty, and we shouldn’t have to deal with unjust and unfounded accusations!
    Thanks for an interesting piece.

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